For Lulu

The following was written for a writing challenge: 
Write something using all words of a multi-word band’s name.
[ex. Pearl Jam, Talking Heads, etc.]

Head’s up – there are a few F-bombs.

***

In a vacated auto shop in Berlin, seven friends sat on the JAGGED EDGE of vengeance.  They would not have predicted themselves there, but acute heartache never could reconcile THE HEAD AND THE HEART…   

*

“I remember it like it was yesterday.  We were in PORTUGAL. THE MAN said it was a four-day job, tops.”  Charlotte closed her eyes, reliving the memory.  “We were picnicking in the park; it was such a beautiful day in APRIL.  WINE was flowing, and also GIN.  BLOSSOMS from the cherry trees were floating down around us.  Lu loved it there and wanted to stay, but I told her it was too risky.  Then she countered, as she always did.  Argued it was a BIG COUNTRY and we could cover our tracks.  Well, you know me and Lu – one look into those eyes and I relented, promising we’d stay after the job.  And it seemed pretty straight-forward.  We knew the jewels were wrapped in DEEP BLUE…. SOMETHING… I believe it was VELVET, UNDERGROUND the clock tower of the Pena Palace.  We analyzed the plan once more and moved the following night.  And then…” Charlotte paused.  Everyone in the shop was somber, they all knew what happened.  Someone working for the Man had double-crossed Charlotte and Lulu, and they were ambushed just as they were retrieving the diamonds.  “It was complete chaos; I couldn’t get to her.  I, I – ”

Mary reached over and gently touched Charlotte’s arm.  “I know.  That was some unexpected, seriously BAD COMPANY.”  

Charlotte sniffled and continued.  “AFTER THE FIRE, I panicked.  Lu was gone and I suddenly found myself as a ‘loose end’ and had to get out of the country fast.”

“You saved yourself, it’s what Lulu would have wanted.  You know that.  You have to forgive yourself,” Mary told her.

“I know, I know.  I’m trying.”

“GOOD, CHARLOTTE,” Mary said softly as the group began to pull themselves together, returning to their various makeshift stations around the shop.  Just as they had begun work again, they heard a door bang shut and looked up to see Gene coming in from the alley, munching on a pastry.

“Gene!  What are you eating?” asked Grace.  “Where’d you get that?!” She eyed him suspiciously.  “I bought that this morning, it looks like MARY’S DANISH!”  

Mary glared at Gene.  “Did you get that from my house?”

“I mean, you just live 3 DOORS DOWN.  So much closer than the bakery,” Gene replied as he took another bite. 

“Oh my, God.  First, no!  And second, we can’t afford to have you on a sugar high right now,” she scolded him.  “you’ll crash in the middle of our last day’s prep work.  Eat those nuts on the counter instead, they’ll stabilize your energy.”

Gene scoffed at the nuts.  “Pffft.  I ain’t eating that nature crap.  Those are FOR SQUIRRELS.”  Everyone stared at Gene, surprised he had spoken to Mary that way.  Gene waved them off.  “Relax, guys.  Mary has said this before and it hasn’t amounted to squat.  This is just a CRASH TEST, DUMMIES,” he said as he pointed to the danish.  “And you know that’s one test that I can ace.”

“That’s true,” nodded Jake.  “Gene does love danishes.”

“Hmmmm,” said Todd.  “I thought GENE LOVES JEZEBEL.”

“Ha!  NO DOUBT,” laughed Benjamin.  “How is she, by the way?”

“She’s great, said to tell you ‘hi’.”

Grace rolled her eyes.  “Can we please dial up these SIMPLE MINDS of yours and get back to task?” she asked.  “Do you remember what we’re facing in NINE DAYS?”

“No, THREE DAYS, GRACE,” corrected Benjamin.

“Okay, right.  That’s the first AUGUST MOON.  So, we know where the Man will be.  Someone in his ring got sloppy, and Mary heard from her source where his Croatian nest is located.  That’s where he’ll be in three days.” 

“I don’t know, Grace.  I know we’ve been going over the details this past six months, but it feels like we’re in this CATCH 22.  Charlotte has been compromised and the Man? You know he’s no MINOR THREAT, and we’re NOTHING BUT THIEVES,” said Gene.

“Seriously?” asked Charlotte.  “It’s a SIMPLE PLAN.  You have NO RESOLVE.”

“The three of you, quit bickering.  MEN AT WORK here, and we’ve got some DANGEROUS TOYS,” said Jake, nodding in Benjamin’s direction.

Gene walked over to Grace and lowered his voice.  “I get it, and don’t get me wrong - it’s well WITHIN TEMPTATION.  We all miss Lulu.  It’s just...we can’t risk Charlotte’s life, too,” explained Gene.

Charlotte overheard and stepped to close the gap between them.  “I appreciate your concern, I really do.  But I have faith in everyone here.” Charlotte ignored Mary’s raised brow and continued. “Let’s go over our jobs again.  Benjamin, how are you doing with the explosives?”

“I’ve got nothing but LOVE AND ROCKETS, darling,” Benjamin replied with a wink. 

“You know this has to be timed to the exact second, right?” Todd asked Benjamin.  “We can’t afford the slightest delay.  Are you sure that new piece you’ve been bragging about is fast enough?”

“Is it fast enough??  It’s not just fast.  We’re talking it’s THIRTY SECONDS TO MARS fast.  Gimme a minute, I’ll demonstrate,” Benjamin replied as he started to amp up the rotations of his torque wrench.

Todd looked on in alarm.  “No!  It’s BREAKING, BENJAMIN.  Stop!”

Charlotte sighed.  “I’m beginning to have FAITH NO MORE in your ability to get shit done.”  

Benjamin dropped his wrench.  “Fine.  Time for a smoke, then,” he said as he headed outside, followed quickly by the rest of the guys.  The girls exchanged eyerolls.  “Just give them a beat,” said Mary.

Outside, the guys decided the best way to decompress was to light up.

“That was getting a little intense in there,” Todd said as he lit a joint.  

“Yeah, but you can’t blame Charlotte.  You know SHE WANTS REVENGE for what happened to Lulu.  We all do,” said Jake as he took the joint from Todd.

“Agreed,” said Benjamin as he exhaled his cigarette smoke.  “And honestly, she knows we’ve got her back.  We’ll bust in LIKE A STORM and that fucker won’t know what hit him.”

“Exactly!  CONQUER, DIVIDE!” said Jake.

“Don’t you mean ‘divide, conquer?’” asked Gene.

“Yeah, sure,” Jake replied with a shrug.  Gene watched him take another hit from Todd’s joint.  “Sooo, Jake, no judgment – if you were in charge of the mission, in this moment, how would you do it?”

Jake held in his breath a few seconds longer, then released it and replied, “Instant plan?  Okay…IMAGINE:  DRAGONS!”

Todd laughed.  “Man, that’s some LEVEL 42 shit right there.”  

Gene grinned at Todd.  “Okay, Todd, what would you do?”

Todd puffed out his chest a little.  “Well, I’d end it before it even started. You haven’t seen me do my worst, yet.  You three might unleash the beast, but I’d unleash the monsters!”

“You’re got a BIG HEAD, TODD. AND THE ‘MONSTERS’ thing is suss,” said Mary.  They guys swung around in surprise.  They hadn’t heard her come up behind them.

Mary coughed as she swished her hand in front of her face.  “Seriously, THE VAPORS coming out of your mouth are starting to hit everyone.  

Jake snickered, and Mary turned her irritation on him.  “And you, disrespecting Lulu and our mission by joking about dragons?”

Jake looked down, avoiding Mary’s eyes.  She continued, “there’s ‘decompressing,’ and there’s jeopardizing our lives.  I’m not sure you know which direction you’re going.  But let me tell you, there is just ONE DIRECTION, and right now you’re falling the wrong way.”

Jake protested.  “Nooooo…..I’m just….FALLING IN REVERSE.”

Mary wasn’t hearing it.  “You’re high.  Go hit the water cooler, now.”

Benjamin nudged Jake with his shoulder.  “You heard her.  FALL OUT, BOY.”

Chagrined, Jake headed back into the shop, and everyone else followed close behind him.

Charlotte watched the guys come back inside.   “Well, aren't you all just a BLESSED UNION OF SOULS?” she observed, not bothering to hide the sarcasm.

Todd sat down glumly next to Grace.  “Mary rip into you?” she asked him.

Todd shrugged.  “It’s LESS THAN JAKE got.”

Charlotte waited for everyone to settle, then stood to address them.  She looked at Jake and gave him a quick nod.  He nodded back in understanding.  They were still tight. 

“We all let off steam in our own way,” she began, “and everyone here knows that when we’re working, every single one of us is laser-focused.  This is not just a personal vendetta, though that’s reason enough.  We also have an obligation; not only to Lu, but to society.”  Charlotte paused when she saw the curious looks around her.

“I mean, yeah – we steal shit.  But the only ones who get hurt by that are the dregs of society like the Man – and they don’t care who gets hurt by their greed.”

Everyone nodded in agreement as Charlotte continued.  “So, while we may each think of ourselves as an ICON FOR HIRE, we do not exist in that societal capacity and, for your INFORMATION, SOCIETY shouldn’t know about us anyway.”  

“Yeah, and definitely not this time,” agreed Grace.  “We’re not just taking down one man - the Man, but his entire Croatian base.”

“Yes!” exclaimed Jake.  “In three days, we will finally have our vengeance.  Then, Charlotte will be safe and we will be HOME FREE, drinking B-52s to celebrate Lulu’s memory and a successful mission.”

“B-52’s?  Really? That’s your drink of choice?” teased Gene.

“Riiiight,” Benjamin interrupted.  “Just to drill this in one more time, the situation is ‘kill or be killed.’  Dicking around time is over.  Wheels up at TEN SHARP tomorrow morning.  Go home and get your rest.”

“I hear HOT MILK helps to fall asleep,” offered Jake.

“Dude, what the fuck with the wuss drinks?” asked Benjamin.

“Okay!  It’s been a long day, and THE ALARM is going to come early in the morning,” said Grace, standing.  “Go now.  Be THERE FOR TOMORROW.  And if you need to pull strength from anywhere, pull it from our mantra!”

Benjamin stood, too, and proclaimed: “they are going to pay with their FLESH FOR LULU!”

And one by one, the others stood up and shouted their mantra –

“FLESH FOR LULU!”
“FLESH FOR LULU!”
“FLESH FOR LULU!”

Shortly after, they started to break off, slipping out the alley door until only two friends were left in the shop. Mary put her arm around Charlotte as they started to head out and said “they’re dependable as hell, but they can also be a lot to deal with.  How do you manage?”

“I don’t know,” Charlotte smiled.  “Sometimes, I go crazy.”

© Dahlia Ramone:  May 9, 2025

*

I surfed through my playlists and used the following band names (in order of appearance):

Jagged Edge/ The Head and the Heart / Portugal. The Man / April Wine / Gin Blossoms / Big Country / Deep Blue Something / Velvet Underground / Bad Company / After the Fire / Good Charlotte / Mary’s Danish / 3 Doors Down / For Squirrels / Crash Test Dummies / Gene loves Jezebel / No Doubt / Simple Minds / Nine Days / Three Days Grace / August Moon (fictional band from the movie “The Idea of You” / Catch 22 / Minor Threat / Nothing But Thieves / Simple Plan / No Resolve / Men at Work / Dangerous Toys / Within Temptation / Love and Rockets / 30 Seconds to Mars / Breaking Benjamin / Faith No More / She Wants Revenge / Like a Storm / Conquer Divide / Imagine Dragons / Level 42 / Big Head Todd and the Monsters / The Vapors / One Direction / Falling in Reverse / Fall Out Boy / Blessed Union of Souls / Less Than Jake / Icon for Hire / Information Society / Home Free / The B-52s / Ten Sharp / Hot Milk / The Alarm / There for Tomorrow / Flesh for Lulu